what pressure?

So, starting about a week or 2 before surgery I started having some major issues with my blood pressure. Mostly I noticed it when it was extremely hot and I had been working out or working in the yard, but about 15 minutes after whatever activity ended I'd start to feel light headed, then sorta faint, then came the cold sweat, and then came the: "Oh #$%^ I think I might pass out" feeling. The first time I took my blood pressure when this happened I had a whopping 47/33 blood pressure ( you need at least 60/30 to supply your kidneys). I chugged some water- made sure someone knew I was feeling faint, laid on the floor, knees to chest- and 30 minutes later I was up to 90/50. Thats happened about a dozen times now.
Theory is its a vagal response or a vasovagal syncope (syncope means you pass out- which I dont pass out, because Im smart and I hit the "oh #$%^" position on the floor before I get that bad). Basically your vagus nerve (the 10th cranial nerve) runs from your brain, down your neck, through your heart, and down into your abdomen (roughly) and it stimulates the body to act in ways that it will lower the heart rate. Wiki it if you REALLY just have to know more about the wonderful vagus nerve. So essentially the vagus nerve can be stimulated by a few things: pain, extreme emotional distress, tumors, any type of pressure directly to the vagus nerve, etc. etc. etc.
So last Doctors appointment I let the doc know my B/P is still bottoming out- I usually run low 100/70's (normal being about 120/70)  and he says we'll watch it, and it SHOULD get better. If not- I get to go to the beloved cardiologist for MORE tests.  I wouldnt be so concerned- except it doesnt seem to be going away. And seeing as how I'm leaving for Army training soon- I REALLY need this to go away ASAP.  But on a positive note- it doesnt seem to happen when I go for my bike rides- so lets hope I can work through it. Gotta love recovery- but on a positive note- as my good friend reminded me the other day- IM TUMOR FREE (knock on wood)!!!

A little more than average...

So- being a medical person I can tell you from personal and proffesional experience that when they say things like "Its a 6 week recovery" or "it takes 4 weeks to heal" etc. What they are giving you is an average. For example: My niece broke her arm. They said 6 weeks to heal. However her cast came off in 3 weeks because WALLAH! its an average. Well, I dont think Ive ever wanted to be average at anything. And although I am not a pro at physical fitness I would like to think that at least I am maybe SLIGHTLY (if only minutely) above average. Considering that around 50-60% of people my age are overweight- and although I have my problem area's that puts me SLIGHTLY above average.  So me being me, and HATING recovery and not doing anything, I got up and walked 12 hours after surgery- about 12 hours sooner than most people. After 2 days I was up and walking around, almost like normal. And at 2 weeks I tried to run- that I was not to successful at- but I tried it, and I think effort counts for something. So since running didnt work well Ive been riding my bike. Average I do about 7 miles in about 30-45 minutes and its actually pretty nice. Although my thighs are kinda sore from the bike seat, which is definitely NOT made for comfort. To top it all off, out of sheer curiosity I did 10 sit ups today. But DONT tell my doc. Im pretty sure I would end up hearing the, "take it easy" schpeal again. It didnt hurt, but I do notice a little soreness now. I think my plan is going to be to do small abdominal workouts and stretches throughout the day over the next week or so, and work into doing my full 2 minutes of all out situps like I do for my PT tests. The run will be the next challenge.
But overall I think Im doing pretty good. I'm definitely not one of those people whose gonna run a marathon anytime soon- but doing a 7 mile bike ride less than a month after having my stomach cut open- pretty good I think!

Recovery sucks.

So- Today is officially 2 weeks from surgery, which means I get to start "light cardio" today if I can tolerate it.  Recovery is not fun. Its not the pain, or the discomfort, cramping, or any of that stuff- its the not doing anything. I'm bored- and I hate it. I'm one of those people that is much happier when I am busy and have lots to do. So sitting around the house is KILLING me.
I've been keeping myself busy with crafts- although I dont think I'm very good at it. But it at least gives me something to do. I made some baby booties for a friend who just had twins- and someone suggested I sell them on ETSY.com- so I may do that.
The estrogen still sucks. Let me tell you- women have enough hormones naturally- getting an extra dose twice a day is just HORRIBLE. I cry at everything. The life alert commercial continually makes me bawl like a 12 year old girl!!! Its AWFUL (and slightly embarrassing). Im supposed to be on another 6 weeks of this medicine- so 8 weeks total- but my Doctor said if the side effects are still bothering me than we can cut it short. However, we still have not done a post-surgery ultrasound to see what kind of damage there is gonna be to my uterus- so.. when that happens that may change the treatment plan.
Seems like lately every time I turn around I'm hearing or seeing something related to people having kids or getting pregnant.  I think mostly its made me appreciate how much I want to have my own kids sometime, (and although I wouldnt choose it this way: if I want that it has to be sooner rather than later).  Last night when talking with a friend I got the same old, " Just freeze your eggs- then you can get pregnant later". I really wanted to be like "Eggs aren't the problem jackass- if you dont have a uterus YOU can't BE pregnant." But I just did what I always did and nod agreeably. I know it will work out- it always does- but the unknown is still crazy. Time to put on the big girl pants and accept that there are just some things that are out of my control.

I CAN WALK! (sorta)

Ok. Let's be honest here. No one, not even my mom, wants to talk about menopause. I'm 24 and I am essentially in menopause hell after a week on hormones. I'm not literally in menapause- but with all the hormones I get the same side effects, also similar to pregnancy, but I say more like menopause because Im not pregnant. Hello night sweats, hot flashes, headaches, chills, nausea, and what is with the weird taste I have after I eat ANYTHING! BlleeeEEEccKKK!!! Everything tastes like chemicals. Well guess that means I should be eating less right!?
Good news is: today I got the OK from my Dr. (who is amazing by the way) to walk! WOOO! WALKING!!!! I did 20 minutes to start on the treadmile and walked 1 mile. I felt like I was doing pretty good and then when I finished and saw. "Distance= 1.0 mile" and it was like hearing the "wrong answer" cue on the game shows.. Waaah-waaah-waah.  Bummer.

BUT! Its a start. And you gotta start somewhere right!? RIGHT.

So tomorrow I plan to walk again. Maybe this time for 25 minutes- or maybe do 20 minutes once in the morning and try again in the afternoon. Baby steps.

I'm also thinking about re-doing my blog and adding more stuff on here about fibroids- specific to women my age. Turns out there's not a lot out there information wise if  your young with fibroids. Hmm I may need some help with that.

Dear estrogen- We're not friends.

Ug. I've only been back on the hormone therapy for like 3 days and its already horrible. Hello hot flashes, mood swings, random crying (I cried at the life alert commercial... COME ON!) and poor Matt has to put up with me. Only 26 more days until I'm done with the massive doses of estrogen. Only good thing is: my nails look beautiful- but my hair is falling out- how does that work!?
Recovery is going .... I felt like I was doing so good, and then yesterday this one 3 inch spot near my incision was just KILLING ME. In fact, I woke up at 5 am this morning because it hurt so bad and had to take my pain pills. I SO want to get off of those. Good news is I'm not taking anything at night- no ambien or valium, and I'm sleeping ok- minus the periods where I wake up when I move wrong. I did break a fever last night- which is very worrisome. Getting an infection would be a HUGE setback and very dangerous to my health. But I do have a doctor's appointment tomorrow so, hopefully I'll get some good news. We're still waiting to hear back from Pathology- so hopefully we'll hear about that tomorrow too. Still haven't been able to get on that treadmill and do that mile I've been aiming for: but I guess I can't beat myself up too much, it hasn't even been a week since surgery. Here's hoping I start feeling better and start kicking this thing in the butt.

On a side note: I'm trying really hard to stay positive- statistically people like me (young and with larger tumors) something like 70% end up with recurrence (and generally the tumors are bigger) *the more tumors- the less likely you are to be able to have kids. I've felt pretty good about things for the most part: but yesterday I  had this moment where I just sorta got the feeling that things weren't gonna stay good for very long. Very hard to explain. Just sort of one of those, "OK *sigh* I know whats gonna happen". It almost felt like God was giving me a heads up. A lot of my friends have been having kids lately and it definitely makes me think about the future. I have a feeling I'm going to have to make that decision a LOT sooner than I ever thought I would have to. Hear's hoping for my fighting attitude to come back soon...

Out of the Fog..

So. Here is I sit, in the downstairs bedroom, surrounded by my kleenex, makeup/hygiene bag, vomit bucket (classy I know)  my chicken noodle soup, and LOTS of prescriptions. Thanks to an error with dietary in the hospital- they let me eat solid foods WAY before I should have, and therefore I made myself very very sick. Note to self: vomiting with a huge abdominal incision is very, VERY painful. We finally got the ok for me to take some anti-nausea medicine and it helps alot, but it makes me VERY drowsy and just can't think real clear. 

 Before Surgery                                                                                        After surgery- still very swollen

                                                      In the hospital- BEFORE the vomiting started.

I have been walking better which is VERY good. Im hoping to get up on the treadmill tomorrow and walk a mile (or try to). I got on the scale today and it says Ive gained 10lbs. 166. NOT HAPPY. I know a lot of that is probably fluid on my stomach, which is still very sore, but Im trying really hard not to take my pain meds. Im terrified of becoming addicted.  So far, Im taking my pain pills, valium, ambien, and phenergan- thats a lot of REALLY strong drugs.
We haven't heard back from pathology yet- but no news is good news- generally speaking fibroid tumors are hard- and mine was squishy- because of that they are slightly concerned, but they are still very confident its just a fibroid. I should have a follow up appointment this Wednesday for another ultra sound and and a check up.
The surgery was very sucessfull- but there was some damage to my endometrium- so because of that I get to go back on 30 days of hard core hormones- oh joy. So Ill go ahead and put up the pictures of ted so you all can see. Kinda graphic so if you dont want to look- here's your warning now:

5 am update

Well, its 5 am. And I'm awake. Im going to try to get this done, but between the valium, ambien and dilaudid, my thoughts are a little woozy if you will. Surgery went well.. I think. I didnt get to talk to the doctor yesterday, but I should be able to today. Apparently they also found a peritoneal cyst outside my uterus, and this may have also been creating complications. I dont know how big it was, or if it was removed- so I should find that out today.
I'm still in the hospital- they took my catheter out this morning, which kinda sucks because now I have to get up each time I want to pee. I've already walked as well. Once last night, and once again this morning. Walking doesnt hurt too much, just the moving to stand up part and the sitting down part!
Didnt get a whole lot of sleep last night, would sleep great for a few hours then Id  be wide awake. . Strange. Pretty sure the pain pills make me hear  things..lol. Last night I woke up a few times because I thought I kept hearing someone say "toilet paper" lol. ODD for sure.
I may end up staying an extra day in the hospital, we'll see how i feel this afternoon when I decide. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii  <- sorry I feel asleep for a second. Anyways, Im off to take another snooze... Pictures to come soon!

'Twas the night before surgery

'Twas the night before surgery, and all through the land, not a creature was stirring not even to play rock band. The bags were all packed by the door with great care, all in great hopes that Ted soon would be fair. I was all nestled up, on the couch where I hid, while I drooled on myself drugged up from dilaudid. My mom in her nightgown, my dad in his hanes, had just settled down for a long cribbage game.  When out of the living room there arose such a clatter, my mom dashed to the door and yelled "WHATS THE MATTER?!" There I lay in a pool of my drool, had fallen off the couch, in an attempt to be cool. When the next morning came, we made a great sprint, and arrived at pre-op just in the nick! Question upon question, they came out like mad: allergies, alcohol, tobacco, NSAID!? After finishing it all, and doing so quick- it was time for surgery, it happens that quick! On Doctor, On nurse, on anesthia too, "we'll knock you out, just Count backwards from two!"  When you wake up you wont know whats the matter, morphine and versed, you'll really like the latter!  So when you get done you'll be sore and quiet tired, but free you will be from a tumor that got fatter.  Dont worry, dont fret, the surgery can be quiet crass, but ultimately you'll be free from that pain in the ass!!
Note to self- trying to rhyme while drugged up on pain drugs- HUGE challenge. See you all after surgery!

In the world of Pee Op, I mean PRE op.

Predictive text is a pain sometimes. People kept texting me today asking what I was up to, and I kept trying to text, "going to my PREop appointment" Predictive text however decided I was going to my "pee op" appointment. lol Between that and my tumor "pooping" (supposed to be popping) predictive text has just been fabulous. I got everything done today that I needed to at least. I even managed to get some more comfy shorts for after surgery from Walmart when I went to pick up my prescription. I'm definitely not looking forward to having to stay in the hospital. :-( But, I'm trying to look at this from a positive perspective: One thing that I think has always helped me be a better nurse is that I have some experience what its like to be a patient. Up until now I have been lucky enough never to have to stay overnight in the hospital, so now I will have a little better perspective on what my patients go through. I really do wish Matt was here though, I dont think its fair that my parents are going to get stuck taking care of me for the next week or two when Matt gets to sit in California and play X-box. ;-) He does a lot more than that. But I still wish he was here, even if it was just so he could hold my hand before surgery. Ya I know... Im sappy like that.  Anyways. Thats whats new in my world. I am going to request pictures from my Doctor so MAYBE if you all are lucky you can actually see a real life picture of Ted after they remove him.