Its been a while since I've written anything on here. Things have been going well. I took my post surgery PT (physical training) test for the Army and did very well. I set a personal goal of 270 for myself and scored an overall 275! Definitely made me feel good. PT still makes me nervous. I'm afraid Im going to revert to my old accident prone ways and end up hurting myself.
Today was my first post-surgery ultra sound, and it was good and bad all at the same time. The good thing is that internally it looks as if my incision has healed. Its slightly strange because when you look at the ultra sound my uterus looks like this big chunk is missing. There is a small cyst of some-sort in the scar of my uterus. We werent really sure what that was- however the Doc will look at it tomorrow and they will let me know.
For the last week or so Ive stopped taking the estrogen supplements and they started me on progesterone- this is the sort of "reset" button for my body, and was a key point of treatment in retaining my ability to have children. After weeks of estrogen therapy and another week of progesterone they expected the endometrial layer of my uterus to be "thick and healthy" (gross I know)... but unfortunately thats not what we saw. In fact it was very thin and did not look like it was forming very well. There is a possibility that my body just hasnt had enough time to recover- and that eventually my uterus will become "healthy" again- but right now theres no way to know.
Progesterone also makes me very cranky (frankly bitchy). I think after being on all that estrogen for so long I got used to to the "emotional" side of things. But the progesterone sends me from zero to pissed in like 2 seconds. I feel bad- because I really dont mean to be so... well... mean. But it just happens. I feel like this whole year has taken such a toll on me, mentally and physically.
Originally I was making arrangements to have friends help me during my recovery period- but my parents insisted that they would work it out and they did. Now it seems like I have accrued this debt that Im unable to pay back- I always just figured thats what family is for... but life lesson #321,445,456 there is always a cost - nothing in life is free.
Its so frustrating.... to know that no matter what I do- no matter if I excercise, eat right, take all the right meds, no matter what I do I can't change the outcome of all of this.
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