Because I need to vent...

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Well Shit.

So today was my post-surgical follow up down here in Texas.Just a rough update without giving to many gory details, but  recently I've been having more "complications". So today was the day that I went in for my ultra-sound. wasn't super impressed, but thats probably because my Mom is so awesome at ultrasound that I am spoiled by having someone who is a total expert in the area... BUT long story short, the lady was very concerned about not letting me see the screen as she was taking images- and usually that only means one thing. Bad news. To top it off as I was leaving I was able to glance over at the screen, and low and behold there it was... and Im pretty sure it was another tumor.
Now- rationally- I can't be certain- but Im like 65-35 on this that I know what I saw. And given that Ive been having a lot of "complications" lately.. it would make sense. I dont actually get to talk to the Doctor until next wednesday- so it will be the waiting game again.
...

Mother fucker. (excuse my the language)- but to be honest- Im tired of this shit.. Im 24 years old- and holy shit if this ends up being tumor #2.... well then good God, Im flabbergasted.
I asked my friend Stephen what I should do about it, and he gave me some pretty sound advice. I told him I was tired of fighting this fight and he says " I was tired of fighting my fight in Iraq too- but you keep doing it. Because at the end of the day, giving up isn't an option. So you fight. Because its what you have to do." So here I sit now... trying not to focus on it. Definitely good advice from another friend there- and I wait till Next Wednesday the 14th to find out whether Im going to be putting on the boxing gloves again for round 2.
Here's praying for good news, but honestly- Im expecting the worst.

P.s guess this means I should be thinking up new names for this possible new tumor...any suggestions?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Needledick Ned

Shawn Sonnier said...

Name it "You dont exist!" I'm praying for you Helen. And your friend is right... giving up isn't an option so hang in there