So here I sit before my commissioning. Ive got about 20 minutes before I need to start getting ready, and I decided maybe I should post some final thoughts before I transition into being a Lieutenant!
Thought 1: I'm really excited- I feel like this has been a ridiculously long journey that has changed my life completely and now I feel like I'm finally stepping off for the REAL journey! Sort of like having a REALLLY long ride to the airport before you leave for a big trip. I finally feel like I got to the airport, have checked in, and now the flight is getting ready to take off.
Thought 2: I really hope I don't screw up. Not only in my commissioning but in my career. Anyone who knows me, knows that I tend to sometimes speak my mind when maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. I really hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass later. CYA (cover your ass) is a good thing to remember, and sometimes I open my mouth before I really think about whats about to come out of it. Foot in mouth disease if you will.
Thought 3: I dont know crap about the Army. I know lots about nursing- and I still have a TON more to learn, but especially when it comes to the Army, I dont know crap! Like really, sometimes I still get confused on when to salute and how things work- and here I am about to be an officer. I think part of it is that Im ditzy and just kinda dont pay attention when I should. But I really hope that as I go on I get more comfortable and confident about things.
Thought 4: its incredible to me just how many people support me. Outside of my family and close close friends, I really didnt think that people really gave much thought to me commissioning or any of that. Just kinda one of those things thats there. But yesterday at my kinda-sorta-commissioning when I went up on stage and did my oath and receieved my unofficial first salute- I got a standing ovation. To me that was just amazing. I mean I honestly figure that people would be peeved that they had to stay longer to watch that, and people I didnt even know came up to shake my hand and congratulate me. Truly humbling.
Thought 5: I really hope I dont forget the words to my oath in about 2 hours.
Thought 6: I really wish Matt (my boyfriend) could be here. Currently hes training out in California for an upcoming deployment- and I know he would be here, in full dress blues, if he could be. I know what hes doing is important, and training Marines and sharing his knowledge with them so that they can be as safe and effective as possible when they deploy is WAY more important than my little ceremony. I am honestly so proud of everything he has done, and he has helped me in so many ways, I can't even thank him enough!
Though 7: The panty-hose I have to put on soon are HORRIBLY uncomfortable. I mean come on they come up to my boobs for goodness sake! I mean seriously, why. Thats all I have to say about that.
Thought 8: I am truly blessed to have such amazing wonderful people in my life, who have supported me, encouraged me, and thumped me in the forehead any time I needed to get back in line. I really hope that as my career goes on I continue to make them proud.
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