A work in progress.

So continuing with my new goal of "changing the way my brain thinks" I did not get to actually take my "beauty walk" today, if you haven't noticed its raining again. But I did get to admire something beautiful, and thats the creek that runs alongside the Skull Creek Running trail here in Fayetteville. Its always got a little trickle (lately more like a roaring river with all this rain) but getting to listen to the soft water, and occasionally see a baby duck always makes me feel like Im at peace with the world.
On a totally separate note, I got almost no sleep last night. Went to bed at 10... and laid there.... and laid there..... and rolled over......... laid some more.............. rolled again.......... adjusted pillows............................................more laying....................... *sigh*......................................... more laying.............................................rolled again.................... well shit. At 2 am I finally got frustrated and took some sleeping pills. And then I woke up at 8:15 (when I was supposed to be in Rogers) and then ultimately had to make the mad dash to get up and be ready and in Rogers in time for church. Its a hormonal thing... I know. Its just one of those things I have to learn to live with until Ted comes out and my hormones go back to normal.. but LORDY!  I did in the end make it to church on time. Unfortunately though I was more focused on my racing heartbeat the whole morning though. Sitting in the church pew- calm and quiet- my heart rate was truckin' along about 110.  Stayed up there most of the morning. Luckily now I'm back down to 55 (where I normally run). But I think I am going to have to do some serious adjustments with the drug they give me to counteract the hormones. I know this is my last month of having to take it.. but good lord. I'm 24 and I have a tumor, I don't want to add heart attack or stroke on top of that!
And by the by- apparently my blog has 200 views now. So that means 200 people (or 2 people- 100 times) have read my non-stop pissing and moaning about Ted. So either people care about me, or ya'll have nothing better to do. ;-) I'm going to take the self centered approach and just assume its because you all care about me. :-)