Optimism

I do like my job... I do like my job... I do like my job... I swear I keep repeating this to myself OVER and OVER again in an effort to remind myself that I like what I'm doing. Last summer around this time when I found out I was going to go work on the Burn ICU I was terrified. I mean TERRIFIED about working with burns. I mean honestly its such a traumatic, emotional, injury that its just hard to deal with sometimes. And unlike other injuries, you can never predict who will make it and who wont. Burns just aren't predictable like that. Thank God we're not seeing as many serious burns as we used to see. We still see a lot of them, but very different than the burns we were seeing out of Iraq. But when I got to the Burn ICU. I LOVED it. Absolutely 100% loved it. The only thing that would have made it better was if 1. I wasn't living in a hotel at the time and had my car. and 2. if I was a full blown licensed nurse and was working independently (in other words, not still a student). Every day that I went in was exciting, the people were awesome, and I truly felt like I was helping people. Its really part of what inspired me to want to continue and get my M.D (but thats a different post). Going back to nursing school however KILLED ME. Like literally sucked the soul and inspiration out of me.  I went from working as part of a team and being respected (to a degree) to being treated like a total idiot. The entire last year of nursing school, especially the last semester I spent the entire time reminding myself that I like my job. I LOVED my job.
Now that I'm out of school things have gotten a little better. I feel more excited now, and less apprehensive, about going into the Army. And I truly feel that God has led me in this direction and that he has good things waiting for me. However comma.  Lately I've been hearing from a lot of my friends who are also military about how horrible it is. They tell me a variety of horror stories about how crappy it is, how much the people suck, etc. etc. etc. and it TERRIFIES me. These are people who were totally gun-ho about the Army (sorta like I am) and now they're telling me they hate it! I'm so terrified thats going to happen to me! I feel like for me its a little different. Having come from a previous career of teaching, and being 21 when I joined, and now 24 when I'm actually starting work, I think makes a little different. Maybe Im a little wiser? Not really sure on that one, but I'd like to think so. I 100% believe that 90% of any military branch (or anything you do for that matter) is attitude. Matt is such a great inspiration for having a good attitude. I dont think I've ever hear him say a negative word. So for now I am going to try to stay positive, hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, and pray that God leads me where I belong, and trust that he will provide. :-)