Pop goes the weasel!

So Ted finally gave out. 4 am this morning I woke up in excruciating pain. I laid there for about an hour before I made some conclusions. 1. the pain didnt seem to be going away. and 2. it hurt like hell. So much so that I couldn't move my legs or sit up. I couldn't even take a deep enough breathe to call for someone to come in and help me. Luckily I was able to reach my phone and text my mom. Must be awkward to get a text from your 24 year old child in the guest bedroom at 4 am saying, "Could you come in here please."
So a quick trip to the ER resulted in some pain meds, some fluids, a bunch of people asking me how long I've had ovarian cysts - me:"No, I dont have a cyst, I have a uterine tumor"  tech: "Ok, so how long have you had cysts?" me: "Not a cyst, T. U. M. O. R."  tech: "oh ok" then in comes the nurse, "So how long have you had ovarian cysts?" me:"I DO NOT have a cyst. I have an intramural leomyoma, uterine fibroid tumor, that is pushing through the basallar layer of the endometrium" Nurse : "so like a cyst right?". me: "no. Not like a cyst. Like a tumor." Nurse: "oh ok." Doctor comes in. "So I think your pain may be from your cysts" me: "Fuuucccccckkkkkk. No cyst. Tumor. I can spell it for the staff if you would like".
At that degree of pain, and that degree of jack-assery my tolerance wears thin pretty fast. I do appreciate them for quickly giving me some pain medication, and at least for the ER doctor admitting he was WAY out of his expertise and letting me see my doctor.
So results when I saw my doctor: Tumor has grown and there is a significant amount of fluid (presumably blood) on my abdomen, which we believe to be caused from a rupture in the tumor. Blood, outside of the vascular space is very irritating and that in combination with the rupture is what is causing all of the pain. Basically, Ted popped  (funny side-bar story: so after being drugged up on pain mediation I kept trying to text matt what was going on. and apparently I was trying to be funny and say "ted popped" but what I was actually saying was "Ted pooped" Matt kept getting really confused because he couldnt figure out how a tumor could poop. Hilarious). There was also some question about whether or not some of the tumor may have necroses (died) and so now I am scheduled for surgery next Thursday at 7am. feel free to send flowers, chocolates, candies, (totally kidding).
So now I am home. Pain is ok. Huge thanks to my awesome parents who had to cart me around today like a 3 year old child while I was spouting profanities about how much pain I was in. Everything happens for a reason, and I have a great doc. So next weeks blog will be looking for funny ideas to write on my stomach for the OR team...and now Im gonna go sleep some more.