Seeing the light

I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. At least  I'm hoping its light and not some huge oncoming train about to run me down. Lately I've had this huge question mark above my head as I try to figure out what it is I really want. I think I know what I want, and then suddenly I'm not so sure. Having the tumor has definitely changed things. Things I thought I would put off for a few years are now sharply brought into reality. Decisions I thought I had a while before having to make now need to be considered pretty quick. The exact words were, "If you want kids, 5 years max".... and anytime you tell that to another person they'll be so quick to jump up and say, "OH Ya know the Doctors told me the same thing! And now look Ive got 5 kids!"... Problem is I've seen the research. I've seen the statistics... assuming the doctors "might" be wrong is not a good assumption to make.
The question I guess becomes, what do you do when time runs out? Do you just continue on as normal and assume the doctor is wrong... that just doesn't seem very smart to me. I guess for now my decision has become wait for the time being. Wait until some of the other more pressing details (like Graduating and passing the NCLEX) are dealt with and THEN find a solution.
And I must say, Matt has been absolutely amazing in putting up with me through all this. Through the ups and downs and depressions and random crying he has been so understanding and has not complained once (then again he NEVER complains about anything).  I admire him so much for his ability to have a faithful attitude despite everything he's been through. Definitely one of the strongest people I know, and I'm so thankful to have him around. <3 
I guess for now I need to be satisfied with simply seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...assuming its not a train.